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Thread: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

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    Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    DEAD SILENCE

    One word review: "Sucks."

    Three word review: "Predictable and sucks."

    Four word review: "Dull, predictable, and sucks."

    PeteLeo.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    300

    2hrs just flew by. action, action, action. not a date movie, did I mention it has a lot of action? pure testosterone

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Grindhouse -- I am going to see it -- but why has NO CRITIC mentioned "Movie Movie" which did the same double feature and mock trailer thing with a boxing movie (Dynamite Fists) and a musical back in 1970s? Geo. C. Scott starred!

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    children of men

    just out on rental... thought provoking & powerful. A clear warning shot of what this culture may be staring into in 20 yrs.

  5. #5
    mike
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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Quote Originally Posted by PeteLeo
    DEAD SILENCE

    One word review: "Sucks."

    Three word review: "Predictable and sucks."

    Four word review: "Dull, predictable, and sucks."

    PeteLeo.
    realey like the above. how come every csi tv show-the first suspect--the one who hates the guy the most --is of couse -never the real culpript--dull, predidtable and mostly sucks.

  6. #6
    mike
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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Quote Originally Posted by PeteLeo
    DEAD SILENCE

    One word review: "Sucks."

    Three word review: "Predictable and sucks."

    Four word review: "Dull, predictable, and sucks."

    PeteLeo.
    realey like the above. how come every csi tv show-the first suspect--the one who hates the guy the most --is of couse -never the real culpript--dull, predidtable and mostly sucks.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    GRINDHOUSE

    Lots of noise and nonsense, signifying nothing much.
    Doesn't rise to the level of the B-movies it parodies.
    Also, big box office disappointment.
    PeteLeo.

  8. #8
    mike
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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    saw the dvd of the departed. good, interesting, would have been great with more damn good music as it strted off with.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    My Haiku Revu(TM) of THE DEPARTED:

    Rolling Stones soundtrack
    Old legend plays the heavy
    Goodfellas redux?

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    PERFECT STRANGER

    Bruce Willis' non-DIE HARD career continues to plumb new depths of ennui.
    Halle Berry reaffirms that soul-chilling beauty and acting talent aren't necessarily close acquaintances.
    Ridiculous. Come home, John McClain!
    PeteLeo.
    Last edited by PeteLeo; 04-28-2007 at 03:58 PM. Reason: Spelling, Damn It, Spelling!

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    SNAKES ON A PLANE

    Not as bad as the pro critics happily chortled, but not very good, either. As for truth in advertising, yes, there was a plane and there were snakes crawling all over it (thanks to computer generated images), and yes, Samuel L. Jackson does say, "I'm tired of all of these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"

    Would have worked much better as the second half of that embarrassing turkey GRINDHOUSE instead of the leaden, fetish-istic DEATH PROOF (do you think Quentin T. really enjoys being slapped around by mediocre-looking gals?). PeteLeo.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    My Haiku Revu (tm) of SHERRYBABY

    Maggie Gylennhaal
    Funny-looking little waif
    Sex still strangely hot!

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    I thought Sherrybaby was the best movie of 2006. Also, that Danny Trejo must do 6 movies a year or something.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Okay, I am a movie nut, so just ask me if you want a review. Here are some of my short and sweet reviews of recent films:

    Shooter was entertaining, but a bit formulaic.
    Casino Royale - Best Bond movie in years.
    Sherrybaby was good for what it was, very well acted, but more of an independnent film about a low class gal, didn't care about the character, but gives you a slice of life feel.
    Cocaine Cowboys - Really interesting and insightful docu on drug running in the 1980s.
    Devil Wears Prada - Not a chick flick believe it or not. I really liked it.
    The Descent - If you are looking for something suspenseful and freaky, this is your film.
    Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room - Really interesting and informative re how these guys used lies to manipulate stock prices and control the energy market.
    The Prestige or The Illusionist - Both movies about magicians. Most people seems to prefer the Illusionist, but I liked The Prestige better. Illusionist is more for the typical Hollywood family, but the Prestige has a meaner bite to it, is less predictable, and more gripping.
    An Inconvenient Truth - A must see, just because of its impact on the debate regarding the issue of global warming.
    Invincible - Great uplifting feel good movie about struggles of a guy who was never really meant to play pro football but somehow managed to do just that.
    Jackass movies - they are sick and wrong, but funny nevertheless.
    Man on Fire - Totally underrated Denzel Washington film. If you like this, get Training Day.
    Pursuit of Happyness - Really inspiring and well done. A great motivational film.
    For those that like HBO stuff - Rome, Lucky Louie, Entourage - all great.
    Saw I - III - if you like this type of film, I think these are must see.
    This Film is Not Yet Rated - Fascinating re how movies get their ratings.
    Volver - Cute and sweet film, with some seriousness too, well acted and written. More of an interpersonal relationship type thing.
    Babel - The most riveting and jarring film of last year. Probalby a better film than Departed, but not as entertaining. This film is so well done, well directed, edited, acted, and it left me with a headache. Not your typical film. Not as good as Crash, but somewhat like it in terms of its ability to move you. More of that independent feel.
    Departed - Solid and entertaining Scorsese film, but I'm sad that Martin gets best picture for a work that clearly is not his best. I almost feel like that is an insult. But fun ride and worth watching, despite its story flaws.
    Pan's Labyrith - For those who like strong acting, movies with a point, this is for you. An independent feel. Not big on the entertainment value though. But very well done. In Spanish with subtitles.
    The Break-Up - It's funny.
    Curse of the Golden Flower - Not quite as good as Flying Daggers and Hero, but still pretty darn good if you like those type of films.
    Failure to Launch - Cute.
    Find Me Guilty - Good screenplay, fun story, and some of the best acting you'll ever see from Vin Diesel. Surprisingly good.
    The Good Shepard - Interesting and solid, but not great.
    Gridiron Gang - Good story, well acted and written, best argument for sports in prisons and reformatories.
    Inside Man - Most entertaining Spike Lee film I've seen in a long time.
    Last King of Scotland - Very well acted. Gives feel for Amin's personality. A slice of that world.
    Little Miss Sunshine - Cute. Original. Well acted. But not funny in the way people claim. I actually thought this was a pretty serious film.
    My super ex-girlfriend - so so. Cute concept and okay in spots.
    Notes on a Scandal - Original, well written, very well acted, pretty intense and interesting. Timely.
    Queen - Excellent screenplay, excellent acting. If interested in the royals and the behind the scenes stuff re how the royals reacted to death of diana, then this is real good. Otherwise, forget it.
    A Scanner Darkly - Freaky and weird, semi-confusing. Well acted and original, but somehow just missed the cut for me. But maybe it's one of those that I need to give a second chance.
    Superman Returns - Not bad. Good effects. Not overly corny although it bordered on it at times. Given what they were following up on, an overall solid job if you like this type of film.
    United 93 - Good rendition of the events on the 911 planes.
    Wordplay - If you like crosswords or are interested in the minds of geniuses, then this one is for you.
    16 Blocks - just okay. Entertaining remake of The Gauntlet.
    Alpha Dog - At first I hated it, but then I remembered the story and realized it was a true story, then it got better. Acting very good.
    Children of Men - I have mixed emotions. Interesting story, well done, excellent effects, original concept, but in the end fell a bit short for me. But solid and worth a look, and you won't soon forget it.
    Click - crap
    Eight Below - Not bad. Story of stuggle in freezing weather.
    Employee of the Month - so so. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but a bit of the formulaic hollywood feel.
    Flags of Our Fathers - Interesting story, well done, some good points, but a bit flat in the end.
    A guide to recognizing your saints - well acted and written, but I think overrated. In the end I just found myself not caring about the characters.
    Hollywoodland - NOt great but not bad. Well acted. In the end goes nowhere, but one of those whodunnits and let's speculate but really have no answers in the end.
    Lady in the Water - My least favorite M. Night Shyamalan film.
    MI III - Entertaining, for what it is. If you liked the first two you'll probably be cool with this one too. Better than most III films. Cruise may be cooky, but his films are usually pretty entertaining.
    Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest - I found it to be a letdown.
    Rocky Balboa - Not bad at all. Better than I expected. If you like the Rocky films, you'll be fine with this one.
    Scary Movie 4 - crap.
    The Sentinel - so so.
    Stranger than Fiction - Cute and interesting concept, but in the end this film did not cut it for me.
    Talledega Nights - If you like this brand of Will Ferrell humor, you'll like it. Not great, but pretty decent.
    U.S. v. John Lennon - Well done and edited. IF you like anti-government anti-war films, you'll like it.
    Eragon - disappointing.
    For Your Consideration - disappointing. I thought it was crappy.
    Prairie Home Companion - Some people really liked it, but I simply hated it.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    HOSTEL II

    Worse than HOSTEL THE ORIGINAL. Ugly/mousy girls who have the audacity to actually read books always die early and horribly in dreck like this. The attachment of the QT name is rapidly becoming a millstone around the necks of new efforts from Filmland.
    Miss it.

    PeteLeo.
    Last edited by PeteLeo; 06-11-2007 at 02:02 AM. Reason: Guess (Hint: You Don't Spell "Necks" with an "X")

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

    No sense in jumping on Lindsay while she's down -- well, there's actually a lot of sense in jumping on her, but you know what I mean --, so I'll say she wasn't completely terrible in this thing, though everything else in and about it certainly was.

    A script at once so hackneyed and incomprehensible (usually mutually exclusive traits) that the Lohan fanboys on the IMDb are already re-writing it and telling the rest of us that we "didn't get it" and everything we saw plodding across the screen were simply the hallucinations of a dying Lohan. Bad news when the audience can come up with a better story than the screenwriter.

    And this was some poor SOB's first produced script. Oh well, it opened in ninth place with about 3.5 million in the till, so that means not too many folks will share in his humiliation.

    Maybe Lindsay can smuggle a camcorder into jail with her (I'd pay to see that). PeteLeo.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    The latest Die Hard. Good movie, Willis was his usual MCClane smart-a$$ self. The co-starring kid had some good lines and was pretty good. Action, comedy, suspense, more comedy, more action. A good movie. My wife enjoyed it also. A bit overboard with the jet fighter though. Also, you'd think after 20 mintutes of gunfire at a university, campus police might show up, but thats just me...
    A lot better than I thought it would be.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix. Better than the prisoner of Azkaban, but not as good as the other movies, in my opinion. I'm sure others will scream, this is the best potter yet!!!, well, let them post their opinions, this is mine.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Between my new Netflix subscription and my new DVR, I may never plump $10 to listen to some misfit of science's cell phone conversations again.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Quote Originally Posted by Phillyfan
    The latest Die Hard. Good movie, Willis was his usual MCClane smart-a$$ self. The co-starring kid had some good lines and was pretty good. Action, comedy, suspense, more comedy, more action. A good movie. My wife enjoyed it also. A bit overboard with the jet fighter though. Also, you'd think after 20 mintutes of gunfire at a university, campus police might show up, but thats just me...
    A lot better than I thought it would be.

    Agreed. I was surprised that it was as good as it turned out to be. I'm a big fan of the first three DIE HARDs and was prepared to be disappointed after such a long hiatus. But even though this one relied way more on pure stunts than its predecessors, it still worked for me. Fourth best DIE HARD in the series, but still a keeper. PeteLeo.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    HALLOWEEN (2007)

    Will someone please drive out to Hollyweird and forcibly remove the words "reimagining" and "reinventing" from the minds of anyone connected with movie making?

    Another basically worthless attempt to suck in todays teens by using a familiar title and not much else.

    Rob Zombie's previous efforts (HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and THE DEVIL'S REJECTS) were moderately lousy, but at least they didn't openly -- admittedly -- rip off better work in their efforts to pass as horror flicks (HOUSE was pretty clearly an unacknowledged remake of the first TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, REJECTS was just vile in trying to make psychotic mass murderers sympathetic). His idea to "reimagine" HALLOWEEN is to spend the first half of the movie in examining Michael Myers (the Shape) from his tragic homelife to his decades in the mental institution. Plus, he has Michael TALKING. Sheesh! That was one of the primary creepiness-inducing attributes of the first (real) HALLOWEEN: there was no reason given for Michael's evolution into an inhuman killing machine, and he never fucking uttered a sound.

    While one of the mainstream critics stated flatly that he'd rather watch Uwe Boll's next three releases back to back instead of anything Zombie excretes (now, that's a masochist!), I can understand his frustration. Rob, baby, sweetie, darlin', boobie, please get another music gig rather than a job in any way relating to films. Won't you do that for me?

    What's next? SAVING PRIVATE RYAN written/directed by Steven Segall and starring Joe Pesci? Pete "the Very Disappointed" Leo.
    Last edited by PeteLeo; 09-03-2007 at 01:55 AM.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Hey, don't diss Seagal. That was uncalled for...

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    How does anyone

    Start off thier career on such a good note (I really like Above The Law. Thought it was Awesome.) and then end it, with their very next film, in the manner that Segal did?

    I mean, the bechmark for every movie he has done SINCE, Hard to Kill, is: "Does this new Seagal movie suck worse than Hard to Kill"?

    Hawk

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    whenever I think of segall, I think of kelly lebrock. how he could let that get away, is beyond me.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    Her ponytail was prettier than his. PeteLeo.

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    Two of my favorite

    Movies were Weird Science and The Woman In Red.

    And it wasn't becuase of Anthony Michael Hall or Gene Wilder, that's for sure.

    Hawk

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    Re: How does anyone

    Quote Originally Posted by hawk5ins
    Start off thier career on such a good note (I really like Above The Law. Thought it was Awesome.) and then end it, with their very next film, in the manner that Segal did?

    I mean, the bechmark for every movie he has done SINCE, Hard to Kill, is: "Does this new Seagal movie suck worse than Hard to Kill"?

    Hawk
    I beg to differ. Seagal's movies were quite popular and successful, in their own over-the-top kind of way, right up until Under Siege. So he had a good 6-7 year run. Then, I think he simply hit the wall that confronts all action heroes. Name one who has extended his career past a decade. (Seagal even had a late 90s hit with EXIT WOUNDS.) Then, old age and lack of conditioning set in. His current movies are still pretty humorous. Let's not all pile on the Seag.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    In all seriousness, I used to think his aikido was a joke until I spoke to some friends who knew people who have trained with his masters. Seagal was extremely strong & skilled by many accounts. Even in his condition now I'm sure he can throw most of us right through a wall without batting an eyelash.

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    Re: Incisive, Scintillating, Intellectual, "Lightning" Reviews of New Movies

    "Pathfinder". promos looked good. a viking kid survives a boat accident and is raised by native americans. He turns against his heritage when fighting another viking raiding party a few years later to protect his adopted parents.
    In reality, this movie all around stunk. First of all, the director likes having stuff jump out an scare you all the time. Plus he adds a lot of gross out factors like beheadings and such. One head even blinks after being decapitated.
    anyway, the worst part is while the vikings are chasing this guy. they seem to be right on his heels all the time, yet he somehow manages to set elaborate traps for those chasing him. One time he hides a bunch of stakes at the bottem of a large pit covered by twigs and branches. I still can't figure out how he had time to dig a pit rougly the size of a baseball diamond infield, sharpen 2 dozen stakes, and cover the whole thing with a pack of vikings nipping at his heels. 2 thumbs down. If you go against my advice and see it, keep and eye on the lead viking bad guy. Underneath that beard, he is the voice of Mr. Krabbs on spongebob squarepants.

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    DC

    I wouldn't argue that Seagal's movies for a few years after Above the Law, were not popular or financial successes. I just think everything he did SINCE Above the Law sucked terrribly.

    Under Siege was probably his second best movie, And I thought Under Siege II was it's equal.

    Compared to Above the Law, they were terrible movies. Compared to the Other Seagal movies, they didn't suck as bad, I guess.

    I'll give those two movies something I wouldn't the rest of Seagal movies (other then Above the Law).....when I'm flicking through the stations and either of those two movies are on, I won't race myself to see how fast I can click to the next station. If the mood strikes me just so, I may even watch a bit of each until I ultimately fall asleep.

    Or at least until the Erika Eleiniak Birth Day Cake scene goes by.

    Hawk

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