What would the Fighting Marine do?

Roberto Aqui · 05-19-2007, 08:43 AM

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2...a_N.htm?csp=15

A 400 lb gorilla escaped from his enclosure and ran amok, at one point punching out a door. It didn't help his composure that everyone panicked when they saw him, a natural reaction I suppose.

Gene Tunney wrote his famous article detailing how he would KO a gorilla after giving him a scientific boxing lesson, so I couldn't help but wonder what he would've have done when a 400 lb domesticated gorilla rushed him at the zoo. This fella had to pull his 400lbs over what was probably a minimum 14' wall. Let's remember that Shack probably can't do a single pull up of his 330lbs, much less haul it over a wall.

Oddly enough one of my earliest memories was at a circus with my Dad when I was about 4 and gorilla impersonator stormed the stands, scattering the locals who were sent screaming. Naturally I also thought he was real, and since he was heading my way I stood up and set my fists to be ready to fight. Alas, a bunch of clowns showed up and did their thing and then the thrill was gone.

From that point on I was constantly pestering my old man with fight questions between different animals, sometimes inserting myself in a mythical fight. I remember at 8yrs I showed him a picture of a male lion I clipped from the paper. I had first showed it to my best buddy at the time, and we decided that the lion could probably take us by ourselves, but together we could beat him up. My dad got a big kick out of that. It's nice to know that Tunney's imagination ran in similar directions.

**Sharkey** · 05-19-2007, 09:31 AM

Tunney did write a great deal, and his favorite subject was Gene Tunney of course. He waxed about the great many things about Tunney and the things Tunney would do. Gene was not his sternest critic so to speak.

I am an advocate of the men of Tunney's fighting days.. and a realist. No man fettered with glov-ed hand could smite the imposing jungle-master. Ah, but this be no gorilla who cut his teeth in the boiling pot of jungle competition as in Gene's day.. when the beats were indeed wild and not turned to suet through soft living.

This Gorilla is a modern gorilla, and for all of the advances in gorilla fighting stances and improved dietary science, let us remember this is not the hungry, scrapping gorilla who routinely would have to fight once a week. This ape obivously COULD weigh 320 pounds if it needed to after all, so weight is no issue.

The silverbacks of the 1920's not only fought all of the time, but routinely were forced to engage forest elephants and leopards..often not knowing if they were tuskers or left pawed until fight night.

Tunney was a whiz at sutdying opponents. One look at the video of this pocket-Kong would suffice for Gene to employ a game plan of perrying with stiff leads mixed in to keep the ape off-balance. Gene's eye knows a nose is a nose, an ear is an ear be it man or ape. The occipital information confirms a top-heavy foe not meant to last the distance. This no Jeffries!

The Manly Marine prevails again! Even cuffed about Gene's brain sees the entire situation. Gene sez so. Retrospect accounts ponder if Tunney was lucid when he was hit in the mush and sent flailing early, only to have his low-browed foe not press his advantage. Fear not, Tunney was fine. Groping about for a place to rise, he wa in complete control of his faculties.

The soft yet huge gorilla, having faced no worse than gibbons (not Tommy Gibbons but the skittish monkey) and limp-wristed AMSLA humans, was, as Gene new, not the hardened gorilla of yore. Only one wordsmith can win out this day! The man of letters, gentle reader, flushed with the knowledge of how it must end has on his side the confidence to turn the tables on the simpering brute who in his dim consciousness can only mime and create to a minimum with not the spoken word but the digitous language which has diminshied the proficiency of his lineage's one formidable fighting paws, meant for fighting as they are.

Some swift jolts to the ear and the Gorilla is vanquished...having tired and fatigued as Gene knew his small-legged foe must under such a withering pace.

**HE Grant** · 05-19-2007, 01:26 PM

Tunney wrote an article detailing how Dempsey would have knocked out three men in one night, two of them Marciano and Joe Walcott. After that it's hard to take anything he wrote seriously.

**hagler04** · 05-19-2007, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by Stuart Cornwell

Here's Gene Tunney's classic article, with all its infinite wisdom and insight :

http://www.genetunney.org/gorilla.html

Haha, ridiculous article.

I've had this conversation several times with some not so bright people.

NO POSSIBLE WAY ANY HUMAN BEING beats a healthy gorilla with anything less than a loaded 22 to the head. The strength of any steroid-pumped Euro strongman is a FRACTION of the total body strength of an adult gorilla. Any person would be literally torn apart.

**HE Grant** · 05-20-2007, 09:40 AM

No question there ... too many Tarzan movies...

**greek1237** · 05-20-2007, 02:37 PM

Tunney is over his HEAD here, the Gorilla has SHARP teeth, is stronger than ANY MAN, and can rip you in 2 with his bare arms. Tunney must of not study Gorilla as heavyweight champ, they ant going to stand still and wait until Tunney outboxs the Gorilla, the Gorilla will grab him, and that will be all she wrote. Of couse I would pay money to see if Gene Tunney could back up his words.

**greek1237** · 05-20-2007, 02:40 PM

After reading it, I also belive that Gene Tunney belives he is bullet proof also.

**hawk5ins** · 05-21-2007, 07:26 AM

Has anyone ever seen Steve Reeves and Gene Tunney in the same room?

Hawk

**TKO11** · 05-21-2007, 02:33 PM

Steve Reeves, or George Reeves?

**hawk5ins** · 05-21-2007, 02:39 PM

Hercules or Superman?

I'll come clean and admit I meant Superman.

I meant George. Not Steve.

Now which one was the horse rider?

Sorry sorry. Out of line. My bad.

Hawk

**10-8** · 05-21-2007, 03:56 PM

It would be a chilla and a thrilla to see Gene get eaten by a gorilla

**hawk5ins** · 05-21-2007, 05:00 PM

As Tunney MUST be Superman.

Dempsey was so good he could take out Marciano, Walcott, Charles and Matthews all in the same night!

Wow, just think how great Dempsey was? He was probably unbeatable! But wait. You Know who could Beat Dempsey? Tunney Could!

How awesome must Gene be who could twice beat a man who could take out 4 men in one night?

Well, the only thing more impressive than that would be if Tunney could beat a Gorilla!

Hey! Guess What?

"Faster than a Speeding Bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound (which really isn;t that difficult when you have the ability to fly.)

Look, it's a bird, It's a plane, it's an ego the size of Everest! It's Super-Tunney!"

My god and to think I once quoted Tunney regarding comments he made about Jim Jeffries.

What a maroon.

Hawk

**walshb** · 05-22-2007, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Stuart Cornwell

FOUR men actually - 'Kid' Matthews, Charles, Walcott and Marciano.

Here's the article : http://www.genetunney.org/magazine87.html

I find the Gorilla vs. Man idea more fantastical.
Dempsey beating those four men is possible, though very very unlikely. He has a chance of scoring very quick KOs against any or all of those men, making the whole task a logical possibility.

A man subduing a Gorilla using boxing prowess is impossible.

Yes he could beat all those men Gene, but YOU, now there's a test that's just too damn hard