Bruno on Boxing

    Mike Tyson is basically banned from fighting in his homeland of the United States of America because he has:
1. Spent three years in jail the rape of  beauty queen contestant Desiree Washington.
2. Beat up two fifty-something fellow motorists after a slight fender-bender while on parole for said rape, which put him back in the slammer for one year.
3. Chewed off one ear of Evander Holyfield's in the ring.
4. Tried to chew off second Holyfield ear, but came up a slight bite short.
5. While in a clinch, tried to snap off Frans Botha's arm .
6. Was disqualified for knocking out Orlin Norris with a devastating left hook a few Mississippi's after the bell sounded ending the first round.

    All this and still Great Britain gives this maniac a visa to enter their dignified soil to fight. Bollocks on that.

    On his last trip to Britain, which irate woman's groups protested, but were ignored and overruled by Secretary Jack Straw, Tyson treated himself to a $630,000 diamond studded watch. For a reason only Tyson's demented brain can decipher, Tyson expected British promoter Frank Warren to pay for this watch. When Tyson returned last week to Great Britain  to fight Lou Savarese, again to the woman's group's dismay, he was served with a summons to pay up for his dandy watch. Tyson went berserk (what a surprise) and beat up Warren to such a degree, the promoter was conspicuously absent for the last four days of the fight promotion. This caused the British public, obviously slowly coming to their senses, to return 18,000 unused fight tickets for the Tyson-Savarese fight. Attorney/sports writer Mike Marley reported at Fightnews.com that Warren was paid five million dollars to keep his trap shut. If Warren had pressed charges, or even uttered a peep about Tyson bitch slapping his face red and his eyes black and blue, Tyson would've been arrested, immediately deported, and everyone involved in this British farce would've been millions of pounds lighter. Not to mention the rotten egg on Jack Straw's face.

    The Tyson-Savarese fight ended thisquick. Savarese went down from a left hook to the temple eight seconds into the fight. Tyson was on him like stink on spit. Referee John Coyle saw Savarese's eyeballs were spinning like a roulette wheel. The ref jumped between the fighters obviously stopping the fight before Savarese got killed.

    But Tyson would have none of that.

    Tyson kept fired right hands at Savarese over Coyle's right shoulder. Then, his thirst for blood not quenched, Tyson leapt around the left side of Coyle and fired a vicious left hook at Savarese's face. The punch missed Savarese, put clipped Coyle's forehead, dropping the dazed ref like a sack of bangers and mash.

    "I guess Tyson didn't hear me (stopping the fight)." Coyle said afterwards. "I guess he didn't see me either."

    Tyson's post fight disjointed tirade made even hardcore fight journalists cower.

    "I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever,'' Tyson said.  "I am Sonny Liston and Jack Dempsey. There is no one who can match me."

    As for local bloke undisputed heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, Tyson growled, "I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to eat his children.''

    First ears, now little children? My, my.

    Then he quickly added, "Praise be to Allah." And Muslims everywhere flinched.

    The day after Tyson's last maniacal act, sports columnist Mike Lupica said on ESPN, "The surprising thing is that Mike Tyson hasn't spent more time in jail. He's demented and he's deranged. The man's dangerous."

    Boxing writer Mike Katz wrote in Houseofboxing.com, " He (Tyson) should be banned from boxing, permanently. He's too brutal for the game. Enough is enough. He was always a dirty fighter. Many of the best ones are, or were. But Tyson's fouls are anti-social. He not only bites ears, he thumbs his nose. He not only hits low and late, he flaunts it. Maybe he needs a frontal lobotomy. He does not need to fight."

    Wally Matthews said in the New York Post, "What Mike Tyson did to Lou Savarese last night no longer qualified as boxing. It was more like attempted murder. Clearly, Tyson is a man no longer in control of his emotions or thoughts."

    What the Sugar Shane Mosley-Oscar De  La Hoya fight did to build up the sport of boxing, Mike Tyson tore down in one crazy week in Great Britain.  Tyson is at the end of his rope. Will someone please, put that rope around his neck and pull tight. Either that, or put this animal back in his cage. Losing the key wouldn't be such a bad idea either.